Soft.

FullSizeRender.jpg-2Well folks, it happened again.

Not that that should, or will, be any great surprise to the many people who deal with this sort of bullshit day in, day out. But I felt like it was important to write about it, because of the response to my last post. Continue reading

I am fat.

image1

To the guys who yelled at me on my way home yesterday…

I am fat. Well spotted.

I am not extraordinarily fat. There’s no equipment required to move me. I don’t fret too much about plane seats. I can still buy clothes in high street shops. Well, most of them. But I am fat. In fact, by some standards, I am obese. Continue reading

GBBO16 #1: Cake On Me

FullSizeRender (5)

Well, here we are. It’s cake week, and we are once more in the throes of the Great British Bake Off.

I LOVE cake week. Cake is my thing. I’ve always done a good cake, frequently bringing the birthday offering amongst our friends, and even toyed with the idea of professional cupcake making once upon a lifetime. Plus, I can put away an entire tube of Jaffa Cakes faster than you can tell me that “even thought they’re fat free they’re still dangerously high in sugar, and really I shouldn’t be eating quite as many as… yes, well. Never mind.”  So I think we can all agree – I got this.

Continue reading

Hi guys, this is Clem Fandango. Can you hear me?

IMG_0523

It was around June when it began… for, when the drizzle stops long enough for us to start tentatively thinking about calling it ‘summer’, a young Brit’s mind naturally drifts to country house lawns, large white tents and the gentle tumble of terrible, slightly-grubby food-based buns – I mean, puns – from the nation’s favourite TV homage to Carry On.

And as Britain’s thoughts strayed to Bake Off, my timeline, inbox and even phone started beeping and flashing with questions. “Are you doing your blog again?” “Will there be another bake along?” and, best of all, “What are you doing with your life? Get off facebook and do something useful!” Continue reading