Giving up

097661B4-0FC6-4C8D-A310-7C81E50D80BDThere’s an unspoken count that happens after you leave drama school and twirl  through the years that follow. Who is still going? Who has made it? Who’s stuck it out? And who’s decided it’s not for them? Who’s thrown in the towel? Gone into teaching? Who’s <whisper it> given up??

So often performers are derided for changing careers. We think it, quietly and bitchily, of each other – out of fear, mostly – and so, if the time comes, we think it of ourselves. It’s a hard attitude to shake. Continue reading


here’s to the clever ones, the wonderful ones

FDEBBC7D-4DF9-4473-AD55-E7D61173E1D9.jpegThere’s a few things that happen around this time every year. About now, Christmas ads start appearing, and the industry sets about ripping each other to shreds for a couple of catty weeks. About now, the falling leaves plunge public transport into chaos. And about now, The Express usually predicts ‘coldest winter ever’ and a return to the days of the frozen over Thames.

And somewhere amid all this, quietly, on 04 Nov, my lovely dad’s friends and family mark another year without him. Without his laugh and his generosity and his readiness with the wine bottle when there’s an empty glass in sight. Continue reading


FullSizeRender.jpg-2Well folks, it happened again.

Not that that should, or will, be any great surprise to the many people who deal with this sort of bullshit day in, day out. But I felt like it was important to write about it, because of the response to my last post. Continue reading

I am fat.


To the guys who yelled at me on my way home yesterday…

I am fat. Well spotted.

I am not extraordinarily fat. There’s no equipment required to move me. I don’t fret too much about plane seats. I can still buy clothes in high street shops. Well, most of them. But I am fat. In fact, by some standards, I am obese. Continue reading

GBBO16 #1: Cake On Me

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Well, here we are. It’s cake week, and we are once more in the throes of the Great British Bake Off.

I LOVE cake week. Cake is my thing. I’ve always done a good cake, frequently bringing the birthday offering amongst our friends, and even toyed with the idea of professional cupcake making once upon a lifetime. Plus, I can put away an entire tube of Jaffa Cakes faster than you can tell me that “even thought they’re fat free they’re still dangerously high in sugar, and really I shouldn’t be eating quite as many as… yes, well. Never mind.”  So I think we can all agree – I got this.

Continue reading

Hi guys, this is Clem Fandango. Can you hear me?


It was around June when it began… for, when the drizzle stops long enough for us to start tentatively thinking about calling it ‘summer’, a young Brit’s mind naturally drifts to country house lawns, large white tents and the gentle tumble of terrible, slightly-grubby food-based buns – I mean, puns – from the nation’s favourite TV homage to Carry On.

And as Britain’s thoughts strayed to Bake Off, my timeline, inbox and even phone started beeping and flashing with questions. “Are you doing your blog again?” “Will there be another bake along?” and, best of all, “What are you doing with your life? Get off facebook and do something useful!” Continue reading